We cannot get far enough outside our own forest to see the trees. This is really where community takes root. We need other people. We need to expose ourselves to God and our community and allow them to speak into our life. I find that my desire to be “done” and my shame keep me hidden inside  my forest. I am continually humbled that I am in many ways powerless to see some things about my heart. And yet, other people see them clearly.

Bottom line… we are blind. God has graciously given us community to give us some light. He has graciously given us His Spirit to shine even brighter. And we need them. I wonder what it will be like when we really see ourselves one day.

Rather, counseling is much more like a journey. It is a process. It is fluid. Because of this, I am often compelled to come up with metaphors that capture what the counseling journey is like. I will share some of them here from time to time. So, here we go.

Counseling is like an orchestra getting in tune. At first, there is no rhythm. There is no form. There is nothing to actually “listen” to. Each group of instruments seems fragmented. There is not much continuity between the performers. Finally, things start to come into tune. The strings are working together. The brass. The drums. Finally, the music really starts and we can see what it was building up to all along. Until we hit that moment where things all seem to connect, we really cannot understand or appreciate all that has led up to it.

However, two complaints have risen out of this. First, Blackberry doesn’t allow you to use their apps on a wifi network. You have to subscribe to the Blackberry service. Ripoff! Second, I am getting old. I am so overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to set up all these services and get them connected. Added to the overwhelmed feeling is my own over active need to be organized. I like to have a place for things. I like to see things in one location. Using different social media sites definitely aggravates that. And, I have no doubt there is some amazing website or program that would do it all for me. At the present moment, my overwhelmed feeling is keeping me from looking into it.

There have been days when I have come home from counseling frustrated and told my wife, ” counseling exists because people don’t listen.” Far too many of my clients really just need someone to listen to them. And I mean really listen. Not just hear the words. But hear their heart and their story coming through in the circumstances of their life. Sometime down the road I will expand my material and post it on here.

Thanks for listening.

As I got up to share my story with a group of strangers, I was reminded of two things. First, God has done some amazing work in my life. He had laid His hand on me from a very early age and set me on a path of His choosing. For that, I felt loved and humbled. Second, I was scared. I tend to forget how hard it is to get up and be honest about my heart. To be honest about my struggles. When I stood up on stage and looked out into a sea of faces, I felt my anxiety creeping up. I could feel the pull to turn inside of myself and hide. But, then I remembered that turning and hiding is the very path that God set out to rescue me from. He gave me the power to open up and not hide. I felt honored to be able to do it.

It was a little surreal but I am happy I had the oppourtunity. It was a good reminder of how intimidating counseling can be. And, I am glad to say, it turned out to be a very rewarding experience. I am glad I did it.

I was happy to feel literally relaxed. I have a tendency to dwell in anxiety and worry about things on a trip. I worry before we leave about going. While we are on our way about what we are going to do. While we are on vacation about the trip home. And then to finish it off, I worry when I get home about how much I worried. This trip, I felt like I left my anxiety in Orlando and actually took a vacation. It was a great feeling. It was much easier to get recharged and connect with Christy.

It was a big emotional victory for me. Anxiety is definitely a place my heart is prone to run. I sometimes feel like I battle it constantly. So, being able to lay it down and put some distance between me and my anxiety was very significant to me.