The problem is trying to put these things into boxes. Is it a physical issue? An emotional issue? Or a spiritual issue? The most appropriate answer as a Christian is all of the above. The three are constantly interacting with a person who has a mental health issue. A schizophrenic has a physical issue- as noted by brain imaging. They have an emotional issue- as noted by their family of origin and mood instability. They have a spiritual issue- as noted by the fact that this becomes an attacking ground for Satan. Therefore, if someone is prayed over for schizophrenia, they can be set free as all things with God are possible. However, it is likely that they will not be “set free” altogether because the emotional and physical issues would remain.

In an addiction, behaviors become patterned and ingrained. This has to be dealt with because the addict gets used to living a certain way. However, the power to live a different way comes from God and happens in our hearts. If we focus on the behavior and leave the heart unchecked then we do a disservice in the addict. We leave them unequipped and settling for less then what they should want. Why would give God an addiction free life when we could give Him our hearts instead?

The behavioral dimension is a pretty simple dimension. The steps are uncomplicated and straightforward. That is why it is the smallest of the angles. It doesn’t take that long to work through. This cannot be said for some of the other dimensions. Simply put, an addict will need accountability, barriers and resistance. Here are the behavioral options for an addict in recovery:

• Seek a recovery group
• See a mental health professional
• Pursue a mentor/accountability partner
• Obtain internet accountability and filtering software
• Set up a process for dealing with temptation
• Confess the sins
• Make a plan for resisting temptation
• Commit to long term recovery

Something I have come to emphasize in my counseling is that a good approach to sexual addiction recovery should entail five angles. Good recovery addresses the physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual and behavioral. Many addiction approaches lean too heavily on one of these angles and become off balance. One item- such as the behavioral- gets elevated over the others. The focus becomes mastering one aspect of the fight. This sometimes works for a period of time but usually just leads to frustration.

More appropriately, loving and Biblical is to invite the addict to a way of life that addresses all five angles in an ongoing manner. Biblically, there is no “arrival” in this life. Sin follows us until the day we die. Treating our addiction any different is futile.

This has been an interesting part of the process with Russ. In many ways his theory is very simple and straight forward. For Russ, there is theory and then there are techniques and interventions. The approach, the technique and the interventions are varied and colorful. However, the theory remains constant. The theory underlies everything else and consistently moves in the same direction. Hence, the theory itself is simple. Surprisingly simple.

It started to get worse so I talked to a doctor. This led to a sleep study which confirmed that I don’t sleep right. My issue is something called REM Behavior Disorder. What it means is that I am prone to physically act out the dreams that I am having. As you can imagine this kind of means the sky is the limit for what I can do. It can show up in funny ways, scary ways and sometimes just annoying ways. For most people, they are paralyzed when they are dreaming. Something doesn’t work right in my mind and I am not paralyzed while I dream.

I have gone a couple years now with this issue and have realized that it is a profound lesson in powerlessness. That whole thing of not being paralyzed when I am supposed to be and not being able to stop is so frustrating. It leaves me at a complete loss. There is almost literally nothing I can do to stop this. And it does not matter how much I want it to stop. In fact, stress can sometimes make it worse. So, the more I worry about not wanting to do it….

I do not know why I have this issue. I want it to go away and would ditch it in a heartbeat. But, it is part of my life. I know that God has something to show me about powerlessness because I have it on a nightly basis.

I have decided to start blogging some of what we are talking about in an effort to organize my thoughts and get the feedback of anyone who reads the information. Hopefully one day this will be formed into a book. It has been very cool to get to dissect Russ’ theory and see how he has come to after decades of counseling experience. I have learned as much about the theory that Russ uses as I have about what it takes to develop a theory. I have learned as much about counseling as I have about myself. And I have learned as much about my strengths as a counselor as I have my weaknesses. The process has been exciting.

We cannot get far enough outside our own forest to see the trees. This is really where community takes root. We need other people. We need to expose ourselves to God and our community and allow them to speak into our life. I find that my desire to be “done” and my shame keep me hidden inside  my forest. I am continually humbled that I am in many ways powerless to see some things about my heart. And yet, other people see them clearly.

Bottom line… we are blind. God has graciously given us community to give us some light. He has graciously given us His Spirit to shine even brighter. And we need them. I wonder what it will be like when we really see ourselves one day.

Rather, counseling is much more like a journey. It is a process. It is fluid. Because of this, I am often compelled to come up with metaphors that capture what the counseling journey is like. I will share some of them here from time to time. So, here we go.

Counseling is like an orchestra getting in tune. At first, there is no rhythm. There is no form. There is nothing to actually “listen” to. Each group of instruments seems fragmented. There is not much continuity between the performers. Finally, things start to come into tune. The strings are working together. The brass. The drums. Finally, the music really starts and we can see what it was building up to all along. Until we hit that moment where things all seem to connect, we really cannot understand or appreciate all that has led up to it.

However, two complaints have risen out of this. First, Blackberry doesn’t allow you to use their apps on a wifi network. You have to subscribe to the Blackberry service. Ripoff! Second, I am getting old. I am so overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to set up all these services and get them connected. Added to the overwhelmed feeling is my own over active need to be organized. I like to have a place for things. I like to see things in one location. Using different social media sites definitely aggravates that. And, I have no doubt there is some amazing website or program that would do it all for me. At the present moment, my overwhelmed feeling is keeping me from looking into it.