I don’t sleep right. I found this out shortly after I got married. Unbeknown to me in my years of singleness, I have a sleep disorder. It started out as a few comical stories about crazy antics in the middle of the night. I would do both strange things and funny things. It was for the most part harmless.

It started to get worse so I talked to a doctor. This led to a sleep study which confirmed that I don’t sleep right. My issue is something called REM Behavior Disorder. What it means is that I am prone to physically act out the dreams that I am having. As you can imagine this kind of means the sky is the limit for what I can do. It can show up in funny ways, scary ways and sometimes just annoying ways. For most people, they are paralyzed when they are dreaming. Something doesn’t work right in my mind and I am not paralyzed while I dream.

I have gone a couple years now with this issue and have realized that it is a profound lesson in powerlessness. That whole thing of not being paralyzed when I am supposed to be and not being able to stop is so frustrating. It leaves me at a complete loss. There is almost literally nothing I can do to stop this. And it does not matter how much I want it to stop. In fact, stress can sometimes make it worse. So, the more I worry about not wanting to do it….

I do not know why I have this issue. I want it to go away and would ditch it in a heartbeat. But, it is part of my life. I know that God has something to show me about powerlessness because I have it on a nightly basis.